


My Faithful Handyman

by softiejace



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bi Remus, Bullying, Curses, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sirius, Homophobia, M/M, One Shot, Trans Remus, Transphobia, can i get a hell yeah for brown skinned asian sirius bc hell yeah, gender non-conforming sirius, homophobic and transphobic slurs, rocky horror picture show references f yeah, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 20:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8028100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softiejace/pseuds/softiejace
Summary: non-magic au in which Sirius gets harassed for putting on make up in the men’s room and Remus defends himexcerpt:“What’re folks like you even doing in a public bathroom,” the bully grunts, “Can’t read signs? This one says ‘men’s’.”“Yeah, and it also says ‘toilets’ and the only thing you’re pissing is us off,” Remus snarls.There’s a quiet little snort behind him...





	My Faithful Handyman

**Author's Note:**

> there's loads of trans- and homophobic language in here so take care if you're easily triggered!

_Bad idea. That was a bad, shitty idea_ , Remus chastises himself. 

He’s sat on the closed toilet in a stall, trying to keep his breathing exercises as quiet as possible. His chest is aching and his ribs feel bruised and he’s sweaty down the back.  
The binder lies across his lap and Remus imagines it’s staring up at him innocently. _What, like it’s my fault you kept me on for longer than advisable._

“But you weren’t supposed to be this small,” Remus mutters back, running the tips of his fingers across the reddened skin where the fabric pressed against his rib cage. 

There’s a clattering noise outside his stall and then a raspy voice asks, “Is someone in here?”

Remus bites down on his bottom lip. He’s stopped breathing instinctively. Well, there’s another breathing exercise gone to hell.

A few agonizing seconds pass, but then the other person seems to have decided they’re alone and continues to wash their hands. The door opens and falls shut just as Remus is done squeezing himself into the sports bra he thankfully keeps in his bag for emergencies like this and halfway through buttoning up his shirt. 

“Oi, faggot.”

Remus’ breath catches in his throat for the second time in five minutes. _What?_

“Hey – stop – listen, buddy, I’m just –“

“Making yourself look pretty, huh? Fucking fags everywhere. You a tranny or what?”

That’s what does it for Remus. His heart may be beating against his throat, but he won’t tolerate some asshole using this language against whoever is out there. Even if he’s likely putting himself at danger.

 _You’ve been on T for five months_ , he reminds himself. _Square your shoulders and hold your head high and you’ll pass just fine._

He grabs his bag and steps out of the stall.

Two heads whip around to stare at him. One belongs to a hulk of a white man with a buzz cut, the other to a significantly shorter, Asian looking guy with long pinned-up black hair and brown skin. 

The latter looks slightly panicked. He’s holding an eye shadow palette in one trembling hand and one of his eyes is painted. There’s a long black mascara streak across his cheek and Remus doesn’t have to guess twice how it got there.

Remus swallows hard and steps up to them, firmly placing himself between the two. For a moment he considers just washing his hands and hoping that the guy will leave him alone now, but then Buzz cut (TM) grins in a nasty way and shoves Remus’ shoulder. 

“Oh, are you guys friends? Little fag boyfriends? Who of you takes it up the arse?”

The boy to Remus’ left snaps his make-up case shut. His voice is trembling slightly less than his hands, and it’s the raspy warm one Remus heard earlier. 

“Leave him alone, he’s got no part in this.”

“Oh, but I do,” Remus interrupts. He turns to face the big guy. “What's it to you if he paints his face? Looks bloody great in my eyes, and I can’t say the same about you.”

He hears a sharp exhale in his back, but keeps his eyes trained on the bully, who looks more irritated by the minute. But even if he’s nowhere near as tall, Remus knows where his knuckly fists can inflict the most damage, and his determined stare tells the bully just that.

“What’re folks like you even doing in a public bathroom,” he grunts, “Can’t read signs? This one says ‘men’s’.”

“Yeah, and it also says ‘toilets’ and the only thing you’re pissing is _us off_ ,” Remus snarls.

There’s a quiet little snort behind him and the bully narrows his eyes at Remus. “Take care what you’re saying, midget,” he threatens, but then the door opens again.

The boy who enters barely throws them a glance before he vanishes into one of the stalls, but it’s enough for Mr Buzz Cut to admit defeat. He takes his time to spit on the floor in front of Remus before he finally turns and marches out.

Remus breathes in.

“Holy fucking shit, mate. That was brilliant. How can I thank you?”

He reaches for the tab. “Oh, don’t. I know what it’s like to face that kind of shit in bathrooms.”

The other boy is trying to catch his eye in the mirror and Remus can feel the blood rush into his cheeks against his will. Why does he develop crushes so quickly? For all he knows this guy isn’t even into blokes. 

_Well. He was just putting on makeup..._

“I’m, uh. I’m Sirius, by the way. And like, thank you. Honestly. I don’t know what I would have done if he’d started throwing punches. I mean, look at these hands. I can’t even hurt a fly.”

He holds his hands out to Remus. They’re small, with long nails painted blood red. 

Remus chuckles. “Remus. And I do know how to fuck a bitch up. Oh, shit. Sorry. Language.”

Sirius smiles. The grey of his eyes is accentuated by his smokey eye shadow. Well, one eye.

“Sounds like I’d be smart to keep you around.”

Remus ignores the obvious flirtatious overtone and turns off the water, shaking the drops off his hands. 

“Why, does this happen to you a lot?”

While he’s been washing his hands, the other has gone back to applying make-up to his left eye. 

“Well, I usually avoid doing this –,” he gestures towards his mirror image, “in public, but like, I’m running late for a theatre rehearsal right now and James would kill me if I wasted his precious time having Lily do my make-up.”

“Understandable,” Remus says, having understood only fractures of the guy’s ramble.

He wets the left over paper towel when he’s done drying his hands and holds it out to Sirius. “Here.”

Sirius stares at him.

Remus blushes. 

“You’ve got, er. Something on your face.”

Sirius’ beautiful eyes widen. 

“Ohh. I do? Fuck. Do you mind – would you - ?”

Previously always flitting around, he stills when Remus touches his face, carefully rubbing the paper towel across his cheek. 

He takes much longer than necessary, but then he remembers that Sirius had said he’s running late, so he regretfully moves to back off. 

Sirius’ hand comes up to grasp his wrist.

“Hang on. I’m, uh –“

They’re looking at each other, both red in the face, though it’s less visible through Sirius’ dark skin. 

“Can I see you again? Like, in a safer situation than this.”

“And in a less smelly place, perhaps,” Remus suggests.

Sirius smiles, his face lighting up with it. The make-up really does suit him, Remus thinks bedazzled.

“Is that a yes?”

He lets go of Remus’ hand, and it takes all of his willpower not to grab it again.

“Um, yeah. If you want. I’m not extremely intriguing though.”

“So long as you’re gay and I’m not reading this completely wrong,” Sirius starts, and Remus cuts in, “bi. But, yeah. I think you’re reading it right.”

“Good. Great.”

He grins at Remus, and Remus smiles back, his heart flapping like a young bird. _Shit._

Sirius’ smile falters after a glance at his phone.

“I’m so sorry, Remus, but I’ve really got to go if you want to see me again alive.”

“Oh, yeah! Sure, I’m –”

He hands Sirius the eye shadow palette. “Don’t forget this. And I meant what I said earlier. You do look great.”

That earns him another one of Sirius’ brilliant smiles.

“Thanks, you’re a love. And _this_ is for _you_ ,” he presses something into Remus’ hand. “Be there or be straight!”

With that he whisks out of the room, and Remus has to lean against the tiled wall to steady himself. Bloody hell. What a day. _What a guy._

It takes him a minute to remember Sirius’ gift and raise his hand to his eyes.

He’s holding a paper flyer advertising a play that’s to be held in the uni auditorium that weekend.

“The Rocky Horror Picture Show, directed by James Potter. Dr Frank-N-Furter played by Sirius Black.”

“Well, looks like I’ve got plans this Friday,” Remus murmurs to himself, tucking the flyer into his back pocket. There’s no way in hell he’d miss out on seeing Sirius in lingerie, he thinks as he leaves the bathroom.

Even if it got him turned into a marble statue.


End file.
